When Plans Fall Apart

How do you respond when things do not go as planned? Some people claim they have no plans at all. Yet every person anticipates at least a few big-picture outcomes. Most expect to marry and imagine what that life might look like. Perhaps you picture how you will advance in your career or what your children’s futures might hold. But what happens when those plans do not work out as you hoped? Are you able to surrender?

Matthew 1:18-2:23 reveals a passage filled with plans unraveling. Joseph and Mary prepare for their wedding when an unexpected twist arrives. In many ways, you stand where Joseph stood, with plans unraveling and a choice to make about how you will respond. They journey to Bethlehem and likely stay longer than the census requires. Extraordinary visitors from faraway lands bring gifts fit for a king. Those gifts might have secured a better future for their home, and for Jesus’ upbringing-until they flee by night to Egypt to save their lives. Herod also faces surprises, but his response proves grisly. The text states that Jerusalem and Herod were troubled when the wise men announced their quest. All of Bethlehem soon mourned after Herod tried to eliminate this divine inconvenience to his plan to remain king of the Jews.

The Internal Struggle

When plans change, you might wrestle with feelings of inadequacy, fear, overwhelming responsibility, or the plaintive “Why me?” Joseph likely calculated what to do after Mary was with child. She could have become a public example, but perhaps Joseph also felt inadequate to stand in as Jesus’ father if God had other plans for Mary. Deep down, the struggle when our plans derail often leads us to question what God is doing.

As the genealogy at the beginning of Matthew implies, God is certainly working. The way He works spans hundreds and thousands of years, touching millions of lives in many dynamic ways. What is God doing? He is bringing to pass what He promised from the beginning, even before the foundation of the world. While Joseph struggles with the external problem of what others might think, the internal question “How can I manage this?” and the philosophical wonder “What is God doing?”, he responds faithfully, in contrast to Herod.

The Vulnerable King

Throughout this passage, never overlook that God the Son exists in the most vulnerable condition possible. He is a little child in a violent world ruled by His sworn enemy, who animates anyone willing to rebel against God’s plan. This Jesus possibly slept peacefully in Mary’s arms as she and Joseph fled the ruthless dictator in Jerusalem. He continues to grow seemingly detached from the international mayhem that stretches from Jerusalem to Egypt to Rome. Yet Jesus remains aware of the plan and surrenders to God the Father’s providence.

Two Responses to Disruption

This surrender appears both positively and negatively through Joseph and Herod in this story. Like Joseph, you can put others first, obey the next clear step without delay, and steward well what God has entrusted to your care. When plans change, you might respond like most people do—with self-preservation. In a way, God designed the human mind to protect itself. Yet every day, you see people who set aside that internal drive to rescue others in danger.

How do community first responders or those in the military override self-preservation? Many reasons exist, but one important reason stands out: they react according to their preparation. They have confidence in their training. They have been trained to identify dangerous situations, assess the best course of action, use appropriate equipment, and initiate recommended procedures.

Put Others First

Jesus changed Joseph’s and Herod’s expectations in different ways and to different degrees. Their responses stand diametrically opposed. Herod responded with the automatic self-preservation drive. He slaughtered the children two years old and younger in the region of Bethlehem. He did not put others first.

Joseph considered how this Child would affect Mary. He, too, schemed, but his scheme was not to make Mary a public example. Mary’s pregnancy would radically change his life and the future he had planned, yet the text indicates that his concern was for Mary. Who really takes care of you? Is it really you, or do you realize that your life rests in the Creator’s hands? Not even promotion comes from the east, west, or south, but only from God above.

When you put others first, you rely on spiritual preparation. You gain confidence in the training from the Word of God. You learn to anticipate threatening situations, assess the best course of action, engage appropriately, and initiate recommended procedures. When you respond like Herod, self-preservation often proves destructive and can even be deadly. When you respond like Joseph, putting others first, you act in line with the ways of the Creator. You preserve instead of destroying.

Obey Without Hesitation

This surrender not only means putting others first but also obeying the next clear step without delay. The way Joseph obeys divine instruction throughout this passage places him alongside Noah and the ark, Abraham and the offering of Isaac, and Moses constructing the tabernacle. God gave direction, and they all obeyed without hesitation.

You might find yourself paralyzed with indecision when plans change suddenly. You easily try to process all the implications of your next decision. There are too many variables for you to consider. You would have to be omniscient to know exactly what you should do next. While that level of awareness remains unavailable to you, you can trust the One who is omniscient. He will reveal what your next step should be.

Joseph and Herod both received information, and each had the option to obey without hesitation. Joseph took Mary as his wife, fled Bethlehem, and returned to Israel when instructed. You can see how Herod calculated by inquiring of the wise men when they first saw the star. Because he operated in self-preservation mode, he was not paralyzed with indecision, but he did not respond to the truth revealed to him.

This principle applies beyond young people aged sixteen to twenty-two, though during those years, a high concentration of decisions can set their course for the rest of their lives. Often, they wonder what they should do. Their plans may not have changed; they have not yet fully taken form. But the same principle applies: obey without hesitation the truth revealed to you. Take the simple step, trusting that the Lord knows the way you should take. He “ordereth” the steps of a good man. “No good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly” (Psalm 84:11).

Steward What God Entrusts

Surrender means putting others first and obeying without hesitation, but it also requires stewarding well what God has entrusted to your care. Sometimes people swing to an extreme. Much like Peter, who did not want Jesus to wash his feet but, in the next moment, wanted Jesus to wash all of him, people think that if something is good, they must abandon everything else for this singular truth. When it comes to surrender, some have made decisions that abandon proper care for their spouse and children. They have recklessly disregarded their responsibilities at work, bringing reproach to the name of Christ.

Note the detail that Joseph brought his family back to Israel after Herod died. He was fearful of the circumstances since Archelaus, Herod’s son, now ruled. Historical records indicate that Archelaus promised the Jewish people that he would be gracious and unlike his father, but he proved equally ruthless. As a result, Rome diminished Archelaus’ power. Joseph obeyed without hesitation in returning to Israel, but he also desired to steward well what God had entrusted to him.

Where in Israel should he return to ensure Jesus’s safety? This desire further protects Jesus and fulfills prophecy as He is raised in Nazareth. Obey without hesitation the truth revealed to you, but prayerfully determine how you can best steward, through your obedience, what God has entrusted to you.

The Peace of Surrender

When you put others first, obey without hesitation the truth revealed to you, and steward well what has been entrusted to you, you partner with God’s plan through your surrender. You are no longer derailed by disruption, displacement, or danger. Remember that the peace that “passeth all understanding” does not always insulate you from experiencing changes of plans. Often, that peace detaches you from the drama of such experiences so that you can proceed with clarity, doing exactly what God would have you do. In every disruption, ask, “How can I put others first, obey without delay, and steward what God has placed in my hands?”

The alternative is to respond as Herod did. Through self-preservation, you fail to put others first, choose to solve problems in your own way, and destroy what has been entrusted to you.

If you choose to be truly surrendered, like Joseph was, you will look back over the years of your life. Even through painful times, you will see how God worked in your life. Every “flight to Egypt” and relocation to “Nazareth,” which seemed like inconveniences at the time, will shine as places where God carried you through those tests.

Faith in the Face of Risk

When your plans are disrupted, surrendered obedience in the truth of Immanuel makes what seems like a risk a success not yet seen. That sounds much like the definition of faith—”the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1).

How will you respond when your plans change? When your quality of life is disrupted, will you act in self-preservation or put others first? When you are displaced, will you spiral downward to self-destruction, or will you obey without hesitation the truth revealed to you? When you are in danger, will you persecute or preserve? Because Christ is Immanuel, God with us, you do not face these costly choices alone.

Surrendered obedience is neither easy nor natural. Like Joseph and others recorded in Scripture who responded as he did, you will need to walk closely with God. Live as though He truly is Immanuel, God with us.

Related Material

• Transformative Trust: Seven Divine Benefits — unpacks how trusting the Lord reshapes fear and uncertainty into confidence and joy. 
• Rhythms that Keep You Whole — offers soul-care practices that sustain long-term obedience when life’s disruptions threaten to exhaust faith. 
• Living Within Our Limits: Finding Freedom in Less for More — unpacks the freedom found in embracing God-given limits, echoing Joseph’s quiet, surrendered choices.